Oh Possibilities...
That’s one of my favourite lyrics. Lately I was in certain way “warned” ‘bout my missing… ok that’s too dramatic but I was “temporary” gone. To me, sometimes takes days or even months to think about something worth to write. But sometimes, even it seems to me so banal, I think about a lot of things that personally concern me but maybe not at all to the others. Then I think I should be a little bit more selfish ‘cause this letters and thoughts (talking about the main purpose), are for me, to make me understand the world around me and myself. I think is so hard to know ourselves. Today a guy said he thought he knew himself really good, but it was not true, he was so far to get into the first light of the concept “knowing himself”. Then I thought oh boy… here comes the sad but real truth. I laugh about me when I was a teenager and thought everything was “under control” and sooorry, life makes you sure you are absolutely wrong when time goes by. Then I think those “fairy tales” parents use to tell you, like: “you think you know everything yeah?!!””” are just… “tales” but… girl, maybe you should take them serious. Parents are like the international Harry Potter’s parents, like magicians and witches around us or like little angels. They know everything and it is veeeery very painful when they got to know you better than you usually do.
So I don’t know, time in Barcelona (this is my “current” address), is getting noisy. All those things I was in love with, now, are like in a very thin rope. It is not I’m sad about this, well yes, maybe a little. But very many around me are getting into the point that this is a city where you can have it all and still feel so empty. I know this can happen everywhere, but I’m talking about people. This is like a very big airport, so people can make some nice flight-connections to everywhere. In the meantime, when they wait to take next flight, they follow their inner instincts, which means socialize. So get some friends, some love affairs… some adventures and so on. So-the point here is that no one (or not at all those you really like) stays. Soooo-your inner feeling, the one that claims you to “settle down” is it correct written??? scares, but then you ask yourself where do you go and what you expect to be at the place you want to be for… “the rest of your life?” The answer to this columnist came, and this is, wherever I feel at home. I realized this is a beautiful step in my life but… fortunately or unfortunately not home. So I’m waiting for my next flight. We don’t know if I’ll be required at hometown, which means go back to a “certain” (vvvery known) way of life or… to try a new kind of life. Today also one of my very best friends accepted this is not her place or not where she wants to fulfil her life or where she cannot fulfil her life so… she goes back home.
And I think, how many of us really know where’s home? Wherever your heart is? Your mind? It is to me in the air, but until I get into the biggest answer I want to try a good search. Someone told me in my heart I know I don’t belong here… and I don’t feel like a creep but yes… perhaps I don’t belong here.
I still sing inside and think even I have to jump again into a very big waterfall, I’m happy and think “Hey baby let’s go to Vegas”. Life sometimes is too serious, sometimes not so serious, sometimes seems to me as a joke or sometimes I have really to cry. But in a shortcut let’s put it like take that train, that ship, that plane… opportunities and possibilities make life great and gorgeous. I’m in love with life, it is too dramatic but too sweet to skip daily life, routine! If you have to jump, be sure it is your time and be sure not to look down, always up, because to me it is not possible to go back, but here comes the great thing of life: you can always change the direction ;)
