Where is time going?

Where is time going?

I think this will be a personal question for all my life. Is routine “the great eater” phenomenon? And even I woke up every day and look over the street, almost "the same" but it is true, every day very many different things happen in our life, it is just the tricky game we belong.

Then we think if we chose water instead that carrot juice... will it make it different at all? It’s strange, like not the same... but the same.

I think I'm worried. I think I would love to be a very professional journalist, but until I can reach just the view of that dreamed mountain, I want to say my concerns.

It concerns me how things are going around the world. I started saying this as a joke, like why every time I go back home, there's a terrorist attack against the UK. But then I decided to leave the t.v. on that news channel and the crisis started in my heart, then in my brain. Today for example I was trying to sleep at the train and when I was in that dark side, when you want to start really sleeping, something cried, called me, and it was like if a hand pressed my heart with the "what if a bomb explodes now" feeling. I thought thank to the terrorists too, thanks to all those guys who created such a horrible horror movies to make me asleep for almost a week and suffer when I was a , and thank you to those who put pain or fear in our minds. What if we never saw those news, then I ask myself what if I was never watching those stupid alien movies that scare me that strange today? We learn to fear but we also can chose to fear in some way I guess. An article proposed to make a kind of course where you could learn how to lose fear to fly. Great I thought, but of course, small letters... 400€ for a poor student's pocket is too much. Then I will try again to confuse myself with the clouds or the tasty meals the British Airways serve. Even I hate the way they control people since last terrorist attacks, they are very kind. Even they won't pay me for saying something good about them like this.

But I don't want to focus in crap information. This is not happy Sunday information. I'm really worried about the people involved in wars. Then if we read history who really wins? There’s always dead people, kidnapped people, people suffering losing the beloved ones, losing parts of their body or leaving scared for Jesus who knows how long. This is probably utopia but, what is in their mind when "they" say, “when we are able to suffer, then we’ll be free”. Is Bin Laden still alive? I only know there are some people we see everyday through that box and think poor of them but what do we really do? I try to pray but sometimes I feel like an ant. I know they have their reasons but I think as all we do is thinking... this is not correct and who will stop us, who will make us react and who will tell them the truth is deeper than the love they pray for their God because I believe there is the same God for all of us no matter our very free and independent beliefs. It doesn’t match to me God wish us to suffer, if we promote his wisdom is great, his heart is great and we all are his children. No one has this truth, to me is in everyone’s heart and -it is easier to hate and attack others before accepting we cannot find God inside ourselves-. God’s, energy of life or spirit of life. Whatever that connects you to life because for me there's not ONE truth. But for sure one race is involved, we HUMANS

Sweet Sunshower

A good friend of mine said this space was turning a bit sad and melancholic. Well ladies and gentlemen, we're going to change it. Let's look for the side we forgot, for the sun and the fresh flowers of the spring! The happy side of all those things that make us think. One thing is trying to think deep but not tending to sadness or to forget how sweet life can be.
It was also this weekend a new shine came into my window, and thought sometimes our faith in human being is a bit smashed by daily news (and life). We could be heroes! The Wallflowers used to say.
How to save ourselves? In love I think it is no possible to save us otherwise there can't be love. Good lovers never save themselves to set their bodies and souls to the fire. It can be risky to know we have to pay. For every single thing we have to pay in certain way. And it is time to be happy to do that, then we can be sure we really want things around us.
This month I dedicate it to my friend, she opened my eyes and let me tell you something, it is always time to fight for living. It is always good to fight and sometimes our worst enemy is ourselves 'cause none than us knows us better. I hope I explain myself. Sometimes I read and I cannot understand it so good and after few days or moments then I do.
And I also dedicate this fight to my life and to the spirit. If I was not saying anything before, yes, I do believe in a certain health of spirit but I cannot go deeper in this because is fresh idea.
So I invite you all to live the B good side of life. Hey! Nicer music is at the B-sides. Well I want to make a mix of A and B because it makes me happy there's always too many of us living in one. That's also other new idea I learned. We can behave as many different of us because of course it depend on the others mirrors how we reflect. To close I would say I will be discovering my new B side, my new loved one:

Peace and Love

Virginia's Tragedy

Everytime we talk about the States drives me into a special human condition. It's like talking about of a strange place where beauty and horror take place at the same time. Yesterday the society again was screaming there's something wrong. I do agree it's very dangerous the easy way you can get a weapon or get a permission to keep "couple" of them. If we make a simple addition like paranoia and insecurity then we can find as a result, what their society is living. But on the other hand, I wonder know what are they going to do. Are South Coreans the next victim of endless hunger of some american speculations? I think we should pay attention to this events cause I don't think this has to be with government or insecurity (even mostly) at all. I think we are living in a way we are getting sick of ourselves (the great factory of modern times) and lonelyness, are the most difficult part of accepting this introduction into a black hole where we are walking... pathetically pretending we're (color) blind.

Where are our wishes going?

Have you ever been in love? Perhaps this is a normal and obvious question as the answer. But what happen when we fall in love and after the relationship is over, our mind doesn’t get it and it is like if the course of our brain is just spinning and spinning ‘round the same unusual and pathetic thing?
Why we people do constant keep beloved failed things in heart? Like if they’re never going to die. I don’t like this kind of nature, when we do our special rituals to keep things in a “certain” place where certainly we are even not sure it those things are there or just dry as autumn leaves, falling and falling with our faithful whispering.
I don’t think it’s not that I can’t survive or I’m afraid to say it was the best I could ever have, or lived or… heard, or taste or smell or hug or kiss or… What if we keep valuable things (but spontaneous) in a woodbox? If we do not let them free, the only thing we can get I guess is nice. But, hard thoughts concerning a theme, which more than a renewal, turns into an old and broken being.
Why we can defeat wondering we can manage it and we can “survive”. Was Gloria Gaynor (was it?) so sure about her song? I think I will but the small letters in the contract were “short periods of time do not count in here”.
Then, I guess I might push and look further.
How’s the sky tonight? I guess it’s been long time since I saw a star up there. I think it was a moon eclipse in my birthday… Is it a promise of the fenix? Survive and come back from the ashes? I wish we can put away all bad dusty thoughts, chained thoughts, and become this into a very brand new start. I think my new year had two dates, the normal one (“normal counting on with Chinese and Christian and so on calendars”) and my birthday. I used to think birthdays are too corny but it’s not exactly presents what we see, a box of chocolates, necklaces, blouses… It is just one and “simple” thing, the day we started breathing. This answers me something I had in mind last weeks. Now I understand when was the day I was really alive and this day, was the day I enjoyed for first time the miracle of life.

Fly me to the moon...

Well, Xmas again… In fact I didn’t want to write something ‘bout Xmas ‘cause is always the same (at least to me) and I think it is cheap to write about it. It’s just… I think the theme is over!!! But when you lose your flight and the next year (same date) they say your flight is late… well, what else to write about??? Yeah tricky things from destiny. Last year all my colleagues were really in shock ‘cause very many stupid reasons I lost my trip, my beloved dream to go back home and get a couple of warm hugs. No, no, no. No way to go back or at least, on that time. Then I was so frustrated ‘cause as a student, and first time I was more than one month out of home, well, the only thought I had was I just wanted family medicine. And no, they returned me, poor little girl, back home. Crying a river (even an old woman helped me with luggage… yeah! I was too confused!) and waiting daddy’s money could arrive just in time that little princess could go home. I think is shitty, I really think its hard to spend those kind of special dates without family. Then I think now why to write about Xmas is important and at least I think even we could be sort of “Grinchs” , I think there’s always something in those kind of peoples eyes that I cannot believe they hate Xmas at all. Yeah, yeah with the “lot of money spent” and so on, but I think its one time all people move around the world just to get there, its just a dinner, but the most important of the year. All time we’re very busy and we don’t know how but in Xmas we have it. People pay super big quantities for a ticket and travel so far… This year a flight company in Spain closed all their flights ’cause let’s put it like this, they were everything but not exactly safe. Well, it breaks me when I know there’s a big case of “immigrants” and I do also know they break their backs to work and send a little money to their families who really depend on that. All everything to reach this special date and with hands on waist they say “ok no more traveling” And do not think about the money, this craps are still not telling anything to them. Did you realize how many things we could know just looking? This is turning into that frustrating movie with Tom Hanks, the one he’s for very many days living in the airport, how frustrating it is huh?! And do not tell last week I lost my flight from Frankfurt to Barcelona with that cheap company (that of course only students can afford) and the way back was a real shame. Getting back into the theme… I wish you all happy holidays. I’m probably a fool to believe people can swallow this corny thoughts or wishes, but think about it. As I said we’re all connected in some certain way, I think when we make something together its strength can be great. As when we pray, we laugh, we hope even when we claim something. We humans always turn things important when it is in a big crowd and that moves me. My heart shakes when beside thinking when we can push the other down or when we pretend not seeing people dying (‘cause we’re too worried trying to get a small place into the big monster of the capitalism)… well, then I think we can still keep our hearts biting. I wish it was bigger our worry to others and our empathy but just little sparks can move me out from the way of apocalypses or from those who think humans are broken without any help. Personally I believe in God, and I thank him for all this year. Good tastes and bad ones, the perfect mixture is again when we feel alive and we want to go further. That’s until now, my invaluable trick. Thanks and wait, ‘cause the corny Xmas stories are not over until I bring you the very special one, New Year’s eve!!! Free hugs for all!!!!!!!! Ursula

Rythm

What's life's rythm?
Sometimes I use to think we humans are connected in some certain way but not losing our singular identity.
How many times we just walk around and life and somtimes sad but true we just survive?
Well that's maybe one of my purposes in life, to find out what is making us work, fit and stand over million things happening in a day. Maybe yesterday was the people at the subway, maybe today that drunk old love. It's interesting how we search and end with people that some way those images are a bit similar to past memories, important figures in our lives.
Well, yesterday I saw one of the most critic situations in human condition and this is the trance we get with alcohol. It's common I know but I think if we love somebody, just to be sure of it, make them drunk and talk to them. If you can pass that line, then we can say we're in the "other side" of course.
In my country people say that children and drunks say always the truth... Well, maybe even I do not believe it that strong (many cases with lies and confussions) but certainly it comes out the real monster we have inside. Until now, and it's a good question, I haven't meet an angel on that way. Do you think we can find a drunk angel? Human pleasures or parties maybe cover too much or maybe undercover too much. I will look up for that angel.

Welcome

Supposed sunday is the last thay of the week. The day when we usually think "tomorrow week starts and this and that.." But it is not just that sunday takes away the last week. It is a good day to reorganize our mind, to think in our new projects, deep breathe and dig into the big sea of life.
Welcome to Urban Panorama, this space is created to open mind and create opinions concerning a special theme or maybe just to take out and organize the puzzle sometimes we have too. The tittle is dedicated to us, to those who belong to "normal life". Dedicated to the real poem and great dance I presence in my every day. English is a good tool to get closer to others but I must accept mine is not so good. Anyway sorry to those who really speak it and find some little mistakes.
Now I know why sometimes is so hard always to start, it is a new compromise.

Thank you very much


Ursula Rodriguez