Planet Earth is Blue and there’s nothing I can do

Erase. To clean, to delete, to forget. How many definitions of the word “erase” do exist? When do we think we should erase something? Will it be erased at all? I read mobiles can keep sms for a long time, even you think they are “erased” they still keep many of them. I also read police in the States, found a criminal by just verifying the “erased” sms in his mobile. And then I thought… ha-ha to catch the “loyal” husband/wife… That would be maybe interesting… funny? OK maybe not for all the people involved indeed.

So again, when do we delete? Is it not anymore useful? Is it a question to hide something? Burglars, murderers, cheaters… they would be the perfect example of erasing “data” or visible criminal signs. But for a normal peasant, what would it mean? Which case?

Everything because I made a cleaning of my emails. It’s amazing how many stuff was “hidden” there. And how many things depending on time are so much important and afterwards could be just a binary code getting more space than needed… But there are also good stories, bad stories, happy and sad stories… All of them like voices waiting to get (once again) the chance to come back and become into words. In mind, at least.

But there’s also the cleaning “of today”, that we live “for today” and what I’ve said about the best way of waiting is to live in present. But actually I would like to add that this waiting is not only waiting, is living life as it goes. So I had a fast conversation with my heart and just felt it was done. Not so much dealing. Letters are important to me, but those that are not written depend on their “validating period”. And for sure those letters that were important will stay at the bottom of my heart. Maybe it is we are in December, maybe I feel like starting this personal management is needed. So I did. I can even remember when a friend told me he used to erase mails, I thought: what a sad thing. But certainly no, it is a good thing, it let’s you let the old pack aside or packed in a good place: memory.

I feel strange, perhaps I could regret about it, but my heart tells it was right. I’m prepared for the next time and this means we cannot hold everything, it could turn into a burden and travelling lighter is easier- for sure-.

Chicago, 1976

- Good Morning Marcia, Mr. Ivankov is waiting for you. Your uncle has already arrived. Please come in.

- Thank you

- Good Morning Marcie, how are you today? I hope brave enough and… quiet enough.

- As much as I can I guess.

-Excellent. Have you already seen Mr.Trapl?

- Yes

- Good, I’m glad. So it seems we are ready to talk about business. I hope your work at the bar gave you a little blink of how this… “business” is running. Your uncle has been very polite and we think you two, sorry, you three, will get back soon.

- Certainly is what we are expecting Mr. Ivankov. Shall we ask you to let us know the rest of the information?

- Of course you can, that’s the very purpose of our meeting.

- Feel free…

- Well, as you see, the business is running good but not as it should. This Italian friends have been a little bit itching my back for a while…

We are glad Xmas is going to be soon, so we are getting happier than usual. So the Old Friends Box productions gave us some ideas.

Remember we told you they “would be back” ? Yes they are! Beautiful summer ‘09

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yci8GY9kUqg

From RootsReCords:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMkb_rpuwSA

David Bowie’s Space Oddity covered by the best girl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgJq6v6gA_4

The Dream of the Blue Turtles

How many times can we fall in love on the train?

I think, I guess, the number is endless. Get there, into the “animal kingdom”, sometimes is inevitable. I guess I talked about trains before and I love specially this theme because is one of the places where we inevitable be also in contact with the others. Some way, you get to know only “costumes” and in the other hand, what about on what’s behind?

I’m petty, I’m hysterical about this. How people stare, how they look like, what kind of music they could be listening to. Then the “excuse me” and the “you get down here?”… If you pay attention, you could also get sometimes some amazing stories too. It’s nice someway because you are swimming into a different reality. You are not needed to talk to anyone and you can freely open your mind up to all those little universes. I told to a friend once “do not break the others dreams, dreams are like balloons and if you do it, then you get a crying kid”. And I don’t want to break any balloon, but this has to do with the real side of this dream. Maybe all those amazing universes sometimes could bite you. So I don’t know, it’s like lying in the middle of the reality and… illusions? Magic?

And I know, next time I get there, I will continue with this dream….

Whenever it’s love I’m a sham. The best dealer, the master of cards. I wish it was not that night I succumbed to the darkest chambers. Not in love, the same flag but different green. I’m not going to fade as expected, not even as I promised. It’s just love when it’s not love there. It’s just two strangers who meet and will meet knowing nothing but a last kiss. Should kill the opponent but is so sweet. Innocent? Never!

Next time cheers to our plastic beats in martini glasses.

Sometimes not even the truth is enough. What about meditation, the secret geometry of chance? Here you the complete clue with video included! Enjoy! Happy week!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=037uSAIahho

(B-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l entry btw)

Shape of my heart

Sting

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for the respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who smile are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape of my heart

Gracias por la Música

I’m back here with new air. Thank God the battle against the computer, the archives and old memories was well done and today my computer is “healthy” as my memories…

It was just few weeks ago so many ideas came to my mind as very important things happened to the world.

As usual where to start, and create the correct brainstorm that could help to print ideas in a good way…?

Because we have to start, the first thing to celebrate and the theme all world is involved were last American elections. Here are not deep thoughts about American politics because we all know we were tired of this world massive policies that were ruling everywhere without any consideration. So as America breathe, we, “the rest”, too. It’s not a small thing to say that many tabloids were celebrating this as some of my favourite radio stations too. All of them dedicated a huge program to the success. I was also amazed how elections in some way were part of a big show and this was like those huge events like World Cup or Miss World. It was such a profitable topic for media. Amazing when you could see how many millions of people put their eyes on it. And this way I think to myself how Americans are specialists in media. Of course their films are a monster over the world, and let’s not say about the things they are concerned. But for this time, “I forgive” the big show because personally, I believe this is good news and we are living a moment of hope which is always a good thing.

In the other hand, also sad news were hanging on the newspapers and it was that one of my beloved writers was dead, Mr. Michael Crichton. The magical trips I made with his books, the stories that gave me endless nights… all those brave fighters, knights… they will stay in my heart and my memory. It’s sad when this happens, to me books are like a “stand-by” person waiting to tell you something else, that something is behind of the stories they write. I enjoy deeply these stories but it’s also the personality of the writer printed in there that interests me. That’s why is so sad he’s gone, he had very interesting writing as very humble way to describe his adventures. I would recommend you Time Line, is a book about physics and an amazing story about travelling through time. Then it’s not worth only because of the story, but because you also can find some interesting theories about physics.

The third “wish” of the note is Music. It is a fashion theme in my life I know (it will always be), but these times, I had to “move” part of my mental home and I was amazed that the heaviest part of it were my music files. It’s also sad when I say I would love to be a writer… this should be a 50-50! But ok, no complains when I’m working on that. Then I realized very many people, very important people, contributed with a huge part of my collection. Years and years belong to one collection and this is like a special smell to me. Smells are also in some way like a song, they could bring you so many good memories… My favourites are now safe and I also know life brought me to change the stage and maybe some of my “distributors” are not any longer there to produce as 3 or 5 years ago. But I’m very happy now. I see my music library became part of my personal story as well as my personal diary and… the currently page you are reading to.

I think I’m also experimenting a different period of my life and I have so much to say… But I learnt sometimes is good to think and not jumping just at the very first second. Some ideas should be in the oven for few more days before I smell they are ready.

So today I realized I do agree with a friend and it is that my heart is in holidays. It could be I watch over the streets… but only watching. Too many things occurred last month that I think I still don’t know where to focus to start walking again. I didn’t want to make this personal, but is as fool to say I was not the writer of these stories.

So the play list today was brought by our Blur friends… Hey, by the way! Did you hear they are “very probably” coming back?!!! Yes! It made me so happy, very, very happy. Because they will bring something new of course and they are of my beloved bands.

Ok, ok no more blah, blah, blah, excuse me, tonight I’m excited (for first time) about knowing nothing.

This is a Low

And into the sea goes pretty England and me
Around the Bay of Biscay and back for tea
Hit traffic on the dogger bank
Up the Thames to find a taxi rank
Sail on by with the tide and go asleep
And the radio says

THIS IS A LOW
BUT IT WON'T HURT YOU
WHEN YOU ARE ALONE IT WILL BE THERE WITH YOU
FINDING WAYS TO STAY SOLO

On the Tyne forth and Cramity
There's a low in the high forties
And Saturday's locked away on the pier
Not fast enough dear
On the Malin head, Blackpool looks blue and red
And the Queen, she's gone round the bend
Jumped off Land's End
And the radio says

Video included!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2x_1zPi8Bw&feature=related

Few days are left and Sally didn’t say goodbye. We cannot wait until she’s back. Show must go on… but how to pretend she didn’t break our hearts. We thought she was the perfect one (or that was what Rob said). Now is time to get to Hastings and we don’t even know if we will make it without her. We shouldn’t believe her that way, now John is feeling the worst hangover and I am thinking not to carry on.

Full of corrections

Pre-note:

So according to the next letter I want to be coherent and start now. So its probably me who will restart this thing called “computer”. Suddenly I’ve got tired of many things that, I think beside a change of look (no, no haircuts, this time I like my style ha-ha!) I need something new and this is erase everything in here and you know, that stuff. When you are tired of so many delays and old stuff in this, actually very personal, tool. Let me please you with this last letter, before I “start over again”. Enjoy!

I’m not exclusive writing about heart. Love is in some way, an expression of so many things, of people happening at the same time… I think it is also as the thousand things we live everyday. A friend of mine wrote “happy about Singletary” and that is a question to me, what does “single-tary” mean? (besides Mike Singletary is the head coach of the SFCO 49ers…)

I have already entered the club of Lucy, which means we want to love in the modern times when there’s no space for love. There’s space for sex, for one night stands, for adventure, for affairs... but certainly love is in holidays. It’s so hard lately to stick to someone; we live the plastic days ( again?) How often this happens? The radio plays songs with typical sentences like “don’t let me down” “why don’t we try” blah, blah, blah, and it’s true. I think long time ago I’m not listening songs that say: “darling I’m so happy with you” or “Sussie you’re gorgeous…” What time are we living exactly? The hedonism and selfish party has just got on its way for today or what? I’m tired of being nice about this theme. I’m tired of the “I will start tomorrow” whatever it is, whatever is a diet or a good intention… I’m going to open the door to the I love today, today we start, today we change, today is better than tomorrow... I said once that things are not waiting until the moment we want to attend… Well, it is like this. I also don’t want to wait the world moves my way, I want to move with the world and keep into the heart bit here.

Too much wasted time in here, too much internet, too much television, too much friendly drinks…

What do we really want to do today?

Dear, I don’t know why I remember you in your birthday… it shouldn’t be today nor Christmas.

We wanted to be understood as lovely people… but we aren’t. Not you, not me.

So I can tell you all my affections, all my hate, all your arrogance and all my faith in the no-working class of heart.

I have a bright day, full of joy and full of papers and memoirs that wont’ let me forget one day I loved you, one day you let me down and your arrogance made cloudy your eyes to see further. I wish it was different but I cannot deny I’m happy about getting through this and realize; “it” wasn’t meant to be, and sometimes things take longer than we expect, but finally pieces end on its place.

Please don’t forget to send me back the letter I lend to you (your last birthday) because that’s very important for me, as I told you before. No, I won’t forgive not getting it back again. Actually, I also don’t mind where I’m supposed to get it.

Good night and good luck!

S

- Jesus! Mars!

- Yes mom!

- C’mon! We have to pick up grandma at the bus station.

- Ok! Let me wear my shoes!

God Save The Queen productions gave us this nice entry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_bLnhcNQgg&feature=related

The lyrics are just fun… Google ‘em!

Redemption

To be saved. To be saved by ourselves. To be saved by the world, by the luck, by the others… Why we always want to be saved? “Safe?” Like if life was like this… I doubt it. I really start to doubt it. How much I will get if I save myself from the world? Would I like to be saved by the world? There’s nothing else I wanted much as living and jumping into the sea. I know sometimes I have to pay a lot and sometimes I’m a sinner. The one who thinks nothing is that expensive… but when it’s time to pay, then I would like to run away. Oh… no, I bleed and stay. No matter how wet I get under the arms of rain. There’s nowhere else I wanted to be than paying my debts, than living at this place. No matter it feels sometimes like a jail because of the last conditions I accepted. I refused to finish safe; I refused to be responsible and quiet. I know now is time of paying but I’m proud I’m still here to pay. I’m not running away. Not from the cold, not from the hurt, not from rejection, not from pain. If someone was waiting to put their foot over my neck I’m here, restless to fight. To succeed, over all this floating things. Over this current “dark hole”. There I want to be, at the other side of the river. And if the story was true, this will never stop. As my love to all, to you… to Love.
I’m sometimes tired; sometimes writing is like continued waves… Sometimes I might look like walking the same way, but believe me, it’s a bit different. Through the cat walk, through the darkest tunnel you will see me. The poorest, the most dramatic... Me. But you will find me at the end of this book that I’m certainly not trying to finish. I’m ready. Who don’t? I want to remove dust, I want to believe and I believe. God put a smile upon your face… and mine.

It’s not so hard to tell lies but mom I cannot hide this to you. Finally we found where Love is, but we first have to work for these guys. The bar is theirs! (That’s why we easy knew about him). They told us they have to complete a “special business” with the Italians. Don’t worry, it’s me who’s going to “serve the drinks” But John…

And the play list comes from The Magic Hat Productions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1dR90EFzkM

Lyrics included we swear!

Waves, they might go… they might come. (Same dream side: B)

Again I woke up in Mexico of my dreams about Mexico. This was not holidays at all, this was getting up in the reality, getting up sad, getting up mad, getting up angry, getting up disappointed, getting in love with new things. Always home will mean the beginning and the end of ourselves. Like a circle. The rest of the world, the people, the countries, the environment… Everything then will complete the rest of who we are.

I was challenged and that made me disappointed. It is not that I don’t like challenges, it was the circumstances. But it is like this. Life is like a game (Love is a game). We bet and sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. I even can say I’ve got enough trying. Haven’t you ever tried something and you know it’s not good idea but you push and push until you get a hit back onto your face? I think it was as rude as someway deserved by me. But just to keep in mind that I am who I am, and the others are … different.

We cannot expect Alice in Wonderland will get up in resurrection once again. Alice times were the happiest and the craziest ones before. Today, they can tear you, and happily think and arrange about easily making you bleed.

The worst part comes when you lose your pride. And I asked myself what’s left then?

Then we should ask ourselves if one single moment will fulfil the rest of the empty spaces, or if there’s truly a worthy “other side of the river”. Sometimes is good to jump and find ourselves and find new things. Sometimes, when our heart tells us not to do it… we really should listen to it and… not-to-do-it-.

__________________________________________________________________

I smile when I’m angry.
I cheat and I lie.
I do what I have to do
To get by.
But I know what is wrong,
And I know what is right.

This is the end… My only friend. Side: A

I’m not calling death; I’m calling all those memories to go back into the Pandora’s box. I’m tired of summers in this place. They can be full of happiness and full of emptiness. It’s not love’s fault, it’s just me getting sick.

I was sure this would be the same visit, some new good memories; I’ve got them all, or at least all that I wanted. It’s incredible how we can also push ourselves into different “circumstances” and then paying for the consequences… indeed. It’s very popular here in Mexico to say, that in sins goes (included) the penitence. I hate my beloved old friend words “time is not by our side”. But when was it? Or when IS it? I’m not proving my braveness at any poor billiards club. I will not surrender to the box of their prejudices. I think and I knew getting back home was meaning I could fly over new stories and feelings. It is here and it is as intense as sun the next morning. I’m not confused anymore, I know I can make time by my side because time is cruel; time does not forgive but might forget. Time is like the ocean; waves can cover you or lift you up. I will prepare soon my suitcases. My favourite souvenirs? All those were about time. Time for sleep, time for living, time for talking, time for thinking. Time…. Always time. As I got enough Time to get… Time. Two anti-feelings covered by non profitable beverages. They were almost killing me but reminding me as I will ever drink them again, because certainly I was suffering anxiety at the same Time I had to forget.

Nothing is banal, we make successes banal. And I’m getting back, flying and preparing the master plan. The one who told me was waiting for me and I couldn’t jump in before because of Time. Thank God we have time… to go back and jump together into that funny green pool.

___________________________________________________________________

Mom, uncle John arrived yesterday. We were looking for some information at the bar and we guess where Love could be. It won’t be that easy. This guys can kill you if you just move a finger. Maybe we won’t need money… but luck. Please don’t panic and don’t forget to take the pills. Sony says you should visit her, she was the whole week without news from you. She’s got some cookies, I guess is time to be nice and call back don’t you?

I will call you on Tuesday.

Kisses,

Mars

___________________________________________________________________

And the play list for this time is called "Let us cut our veins" with:

Always on your side
by Sheryl Crow

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

And by our Just Google it friends, a good old song. Just to remember old times: “Time is on my side” from The Rolling Stones. Enjoy get a sushi!