You need to let be found. Life gives
you endless opportunities, so it can happen to you as soon and as many times you
want.
I would love to re-put myself on a
long trip, like those I used to do within the years. Thanks to that, I’ve been
so fortunate in collecting the best of friendships and love.
If I had a ship, I would travel to the
turquoise seas of Italy. I remember and embrace the smell of their wine, cheese
and cappuccinos. The taste of the bread and the feeling of everything is all
right.
So when are we going to let ourselves
be found? When the oil of that old great candle is over? Or today? When the spirits of our youth are still
strong and wishful?
I remember I had a lot of dreams. Many
became true; many are still waiting on that beautiful wooden box to be
released. And I know there’s a plenty of time so I will take a firm step. One
at the time, so I can have less failure, but lot more wisdom about where to go.
I’m starting to feel that I always
come back here when there is the start of a puzzle, so lets the time begin.
When you wonder you sit?
Or…you do?
-Let’s rather do.
For that old time, Sapphire understood that nothing in such a great
city was already collected. She used her best clothes to get to the most famous
bars, where men were the only public aloud ...and, some few damsels.
The night was dark blue, the lights of the bulbs started to glow
the infinite streets. The rain covered everything and the splash of the shoes
was the most particular song of the people at the streets.
When entering the bar, Sapphire
noticed it was going to be a long night, better to be prepared with all her
magnifique tools. She was a painter and she was ready to catch even the
smallest glimpse of those urban hearts.
Radio Navy greets us with one and only
delightful song for this time.
I’m so tired of this loneliness; I’m so tired of this boredom of the comfort zone.
-No more comfort zone for you my dear friend.-
Not when all the world out there is screaming for you to come back. To take that human suit and do something.Not when your participation is precise for the best scenario ever; You.
It’s been months, a year! Since the last time you dignified what you have there. The last time I saw you I thought you were about to stay but I saw you didn’t.
And now the far away lights of claiming you back are just in front of you. With no other bright than the question if that or –this- picture is where you wanna stay. Whether it is that country or Alphaville.
Pensacola I told you just in dreams, but those dreams are more than that. They are me and they are what I want to be.
No the world doesn’t stop, but is clearly making the right calling. It’s time to ride that scary horse which is not more than all your fears. Your fear of losing, your fear of strangers and your feel of the absence doubled by people and by you.
Here I must sign with red letter, paste my wax sign and feel totally diving in.
And I will just let this out and I will just let myself out to tell that it is enough.Caves are not the best place to show how bright all our minds are. Caves were done for the people who don’t want to fight and I’m tired of the same song.
We can get used to everything but I’m not looking forward to the boredom of the same old dusty place.
We need to start the engines, we need adventures, we need to re-recongnize ourselves to the past and present, we need to see our evolution.
No I’m not hiding, I’m just back to start finding the right ropes to hold and tight.
The biggest one; my life, it is already asking and knocking on the door.
The other rocking way to say stop. Or the finest way to send to hell every-one-thing…?
It was Monday and I certainly got enough energy.Enough to work hard again but nothing else. Tuesday… I have barely energy to move on and again I make a recall to that conversation. Why did I stop?I guess I have with this the 6th part of it ‘cause it’s been so many tries to get here and the truth is all of them are true.
I guess playing the catharsis I did stop writing ‘cause there was no blood, there was no rain, no water in the river flowing. Not so good flow that could let glow another piece of inspiration. And it could be this is the song number “again” of the stop it right there—NOW!
How many months did I let pass… friend forgive me. But that was not true, all intentions, all what I’ve said believe me the half. Not because a lack of truth, but a lack of time and life feeling.
Now I’m back. Am I?I don’t know at all but I got it, you got it…” we all got it”.When it’s a normal day at work and we just cannot succeed with the same silly rows with coworkers, same rows with people outside. With our hearts-minds?
So I took the chance to bet on me. To bet for all the time missing, passed, future, in our imagination, in our plans… bet for all the time we have everyday ‘cause you know something?Time is one of the few things we somehow own. As it is to life. I don’t know if my tomorrow’s happy five hours will become in 8 hours. So I take the chance NOW!
If there is a road to fulfill, if there’s some ideas to clear, some projects to create I understand. There’s not anymore the old naïve angel. Not the one of tonight. I wanna run, I wanna tell you that everything is going to be I don’t know, but it is going to be.
The less we do, the less we know. And we only sometimes instead of thinking that life has a path and we are in that lovely, interesting, awful, boring, exciting one.We are. We are all of the fields on earth. We are the I don’t want to wake up now and the tomorrow I want to get to Taipei.We are the today I love you and the tomorrow I don’t know. But I want to.
It’s just I found we fake so many things, even the things we think are normal or things we use to like.And not at all. It’s like living in a gray’s scale but between black and white. Then why not to turn left or right but do something?
I guess life presents itself like a picture, like a labyrinth what we may or should follow. But is that place, the comfortable zone what makes me tired of. I don’t want anymore to send mails and tell tomorrow this is going to happen ‘cause I have all the strength in my veins, and I don’t want more tomorrows.I need them I know. Tomorrow is like a drug, but I want to remove bad habits of believing in a tomorrow and start writing in the todays.
I’m the first one who heard this song. But life is precious in a music library. So don’t excuse me but excuse me if I play a similar song written in similar ideas. What I’m trying to say is that perhaps it was not talked at all.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen and let me not fake it but play it loud ‘til I get the proper colors again.
So Marcie took the train. She knew she was taking a risk. Love was there, still trapped, her uncle as well. But she had to take this chance. It was two fronts and she was at the middle. But this man was the lost key to get them all back. It was not only a family situation, but it was the time of not fooling around anymore.
-Yes?
-Hello? May I speak to Mr. Kurchenko?
-Who is this?
-I’m Marcia, Love’s old neighbor.
-Kurchenko on the phone. Tell me, how’s your mother?
-She’s fine, but some others not so sir.
-How d’you mean?
-Well, I’m at Pittsburgh, Love suddenly took some kind of holidays and I need to see you. I’ve got a personal message for you.
-I think old messages should be kept Marcie. We are just not over that line by the moment.
-I know and I didn’t meant to bother you, but we’re not so many and we have no option. Love needs you and we need your help.
-After so many years of chemistry, suddenly I have someone who remembers about me? May I say…no?
-Look, we are not teenagers anyumore and I don’t know your picture about me, but what can I tell is that Love is not on the right path and this is not a try.
-Please meet my son at the entrance of the Mercy’s.Anything you need to tell me, you can tell him. Goobye.
-But…
A pissed father could be the worst person to talk to, but never as a grandfather.
-Mars!!! Jesus!!! How long are you thinking you can hold onto this? Your dog’s mad. Even me!
-Mom I called Kurchenko.
-What??? If you had a future, that was not exactly the way darling.
-I know mom, but I really don’t mind to break the rules if this means we’re all going to get a long.
-What did he say?
-Well, he asked for you.Probably you can tell why ‘cause I don’t.
-Leave it for the next meeting… And, what else?
-Well, thank you for your comprehension madam! He will send his son to talk to me.
-Nikolas?! What the…. Marcia this is too far. If Love was lost, this wont help.
-Well, you can come and switch. He’s the only one who can take us back.
-What happened to uncle Robert?
-He’s fine, but we suddenly turned into their strategic slaves.
-Great, should I start praying?
-You should since the very first time. Gotta go.
-Have you seen the day? ^Please don’t let it rain over you kid ok?
-Ok mom. Love you!
-Love me when you’re back. Bye
Mars was confused and thinking about past times. It was not that Love was strange, just that holding a mafia CV wouldn’t help his interests. Not when he was about to take the vows before his brother. Too late to realize tat was not his world. Of course, not his business to leave family’s business close to bankruptcy. He was not anymore one of them, a trophy for their interests, at least not for Mars view.
A love was lost, Fader, My Sun… I was for such a long time ago, trying to keeping in mind some new song.To fall in love with some new band ‘cause there was too much dust in my old bands.And considering that my music professional delivery service is gone… I definitely took the chance.So I opened my heart, if it sounds too cheesy it has to be, music needs heart before being listened.And gave my time to surf through my daily radio stations.Actually I should give you my precious list ‘because another thing I believe is good to do, is to share music.I hope you find something interesting there.
Getting back to the point, I was at the bus stop and then heard this song “Sweet Disposition”.The title sounded to me like a corny and pinky teenager thing, but the song (in my very personal opinion) is really good.This guys (The Temper Trap) are fresh and I can feel them, which means a lot.I guess when music makes you feel like dancing, jumping and very happy we are at the –right- place… or band ;-)
My last happiness lift brings me to tell that winter was a long period.It eclipsed many feelings in me and a huge mountain of wisdom started to be climbed.
Have you already experienced that?When you enter in a new job, when everything is new?When everything that used to be the same old smell, suddenly turns into new colors at your childhood's place.I guess part of the things of coming back home, is to re-recognize yourself into the new portrait, and let me tell you that –That- is pretty hard sometimes.But as we say what can’t kill you, makes you stronger. Yeah… I find a great truth, especially in that meaning.
First days at work as usual make you feel like going blind, be careful with all things you say, be fast and clever with some other things you have to learn and say.And finally let yourself go without fearing much.I would say for work you need experience and … beyond.Professional experience- Emotional experience.That’s a lot if we were talking about money! But… it isn’t … Thank God!
The other part is people.They become your family as long as you understand that staying ¾ of the day out of home mean that home is bed and life is work and all things that come around.Ok, except weekends, the moment when you create a “Stand by” off of the stress and super duper new ideas glowing in your mind.So, basically people become into your nice aunts, bittersweet neighbors, lovely nieces and nephews, annoying brothers, careful mothers, fathers… and how to complete the portrait? : You.
All of that is kind of a review and a mere coincidence just in case you can find some similarities. I guess that’s more or less what completes the profile.Yeap, here we go again.And it’s amazing how’s everything working and how tough it goes when you change a team of 5 to a team of 40.That’s like a little candid funny farm.Not so crazy of course, but we all know that we people love to be different, to be ourselves and to be free to be ourselves. What come next?A vegetable soup.Then eat it and swallow it with all the different components.That’s yummyliscious (trade mark word from a new friend).I find profoundly interesting to talk to people and listen to them.Their work is somehow part of a language as well and I love it.
Before I fall into a circle I guess this is the moment I would say I must jump into this world and fulfill every part of my self-mind with it ‘cause it’s the present, “my present”.And as far as I see my beloved mountains and sea again, this is what I am and I’m very interested to seeing what’s in front of me.
Time is going sometimes slow, sometimes in a blink of an eye its lovely Monday again. And what I can see is that everyday is kind of a brick.To build a house needs like thousand of them to be well structured. Of course the way we place them is the way our nice house is going to be finished. So I would recommend myself to deeply enjoy it and understand and be patient in the way of “bricking”.Anyway it’s happening again and probably again and again…
I heard “you say you have no time?Hello! Welcome to the real life! Enjoy your job and people there ‘cause that’s what you’re probably going to do for… the rest of your life!”. I do agree and I do agree in re-taking those old papers where I left the lines where “what I really want” was written.As solid it is, as less you will doubt.
Wish you a great weekend.
Sophie was looking through the window.It was a cold and rainy day. Jeremiah didn’t come for a week and she started to feel something sad in her heart.Everything was covered by the Autumn leafs and you could smell the winter was getting closer.
Where could Jeremiah be? She thought he was the happiest and fattest cat ever. Then the questions started in her mind… did he took some holiday? Did he sleep somewhere far away, that next day he was not able to recognize where he was and come back? Was he tired of the food, of the games?Did he find new friends?
All questions were spinning around her bedroom and raindrops were calling each of them.
Radio Stations
I hope this list someway fulfill your music needs: )
A British one, they play alternative music and I would say is very Brit.All new great bands might be played here and somehow I don’t know why but musicians love to kick off their work at the G.B. giving an ear to this, means you’ll get future hits before anyone ;-)
If I meant “alternative” well this is just alternative-alternative-alternative.The world’s underground music and… Austrian music as well.Good to listen something new and different.
Like our last friend but not so alternative with French music as well.Good to chill if you catch a nice block of music otherwise you can find good rock as well.
The posh one.But they can surprise you and insert some interesting stuff.If you don’t want something “too deep” here you go with these German guys.Alert: at night you might love hip-hop otherwise… run for your life.
Any comments or suggestions about some interesting local radios I'll be happy and appreciate you drop me a message.
Well, I guess for this 2009 the rollercoaster I was in it's quiet now. I mean quiet 'cause I take the chance (or being naive) to say it is calm. I have a diary and it has dust, I have a blog and it has dust, I have so many beloved friends who I would love to write a proper letter and the idea is shaking the dust off, even this dust story could continue... I just know this is a start (again) and this was an end (again) and we're living in a huge sometimes circle theory, sometimes it has not a special shape, its life and we know we are in it. Are we? (Are you?) Cheessy happy 2010. I wish you all the best, but health first 'cause without health, we cannot see how lucky we are 'cause we are alive. There should be a story... (...Should there be a story?) I asked the tree of wisdom if there was a story, it said "yes, there's snow and there are some polar bears eating themselves." And I asked the wind and wind said: yes, there are thousand new stories but you should leave your past with no regrets. And finally I asked water, and water said "everything is product of the flow, so let your life flow through the river of itself." But I forgot to ask to fire, and suddenly fire replied: Burn all your cards, but burn them wisely. Burn everything, don't stop your life 'cause of too much thinking. And then, I dared on how to formulate this question to God... _______________________________________________________________
Past, old times, the things I’ve done. The things I remember.They are all my beloved ghosts and my beloved memories.But… what’s to deal with the past? Just accepting ourselves the way we did things and the others did next to us.
Whatever comes next is just free will.
Take it or not… That’s the story of my days here.Where things happen like if the flash of the camera was broken and suddenly every single thing I see is like my eyes were twice bigger than before.
Tonight I want to talk about all the connections I’m doing.All those conversations, all the schemes and the ideas I’ve made from everything I typed in my mind last days.
And yesterday was a very interesting cable from a friend.She’s writing a blog as well but with “the other guys”.So she was treating a very interesting theme for me ‘cause as you know or if not then I confirm again, that all that has to do with spiritual healing or religion concerns me.So part of the article she talked about, treat kind of idea that spirituality is a very important field in humans’ life, and that we should interact with this part of ourselves. Other ideas included were about some way to train our brain in a good way, tending always to think positive so we can attract positivity too.* I founded really interesting this article. and I’m quiet sure if you read it, you won’t regret.Her blog is in Spanish, but there’s a link where you can read about her entry in English for those whose Spanish skills are under construction.
Besides I would like to talk about our right of liberty of expression.This was the theme of the week … sort of academic issue.But I really thought about it in all the conceivable fields because recently, I found that we people sometimes would like to connect but there’s something that even we are trying our best to get communicated it seems just like impossible.And I can tell you couple of examples of this.So regarding to this space, where we can type ideas and then by commas and points we try to draw the best way sort of a map of ideas or feelings.Well there is one side of the coin, but again regarding to our right of freedom of expression… I would say go, go and say all you have to say and say it all out loud.‘Cause it’s this right that give us the key to understand ourselves telling the world how we feel.It is our right to tell the State, the church, our family, friends, and people the way we feel or need to get related to others.Of course anyone has the chance to give a negative or positive response, but then we had told how we think or feel.If you see something is not working at your work, at home, wherever! Just go for it and express your ideas.I guess there’s no better opportunity than that capacity that we humans haveand call –Communication-. And how many often do we really use it?
So come on! Go and express yourself. It is the best way we can respect our ideas, respect the others ideas and the best way we can share.A very human expression a very important skill we should improve.
(Why there’s a special holiday story always? Yes, we fell..)
From Pensacola Dreams Productions here we go...
The phone rang and Marcie was shaking.She knew it was the last night she would see the lights of that car.Some scars and some stories were told that night.As soon as she hung up the phone later on that night… She knew it. Jack won’t be back again. And Love was knocking the door desperately…
-Yes?!
-Marcie?!
-Yes?!
-Marcie can you explain to me why should I wait under the rain out here?!
-Oh! Love! I’m so sorry!It’s just that I was… huh…I was…
-Oh Mars… What happened to you?!
-Why?! Nothing!It’s the pumpkin pie, it didn’t work well.
-What?What are you talking about?We are late Mars and you worry about your grannies pumpkin pie?Hmm… I really don’t understand you Mars.Anyway, you are a chemist. Don’t worry; you’ll make it next time.Can we go now?
-Well I just wanted the kids enjoy it, now they’re going to be upset.
-Marcia... When were you involved in this kind of trouble?
-Well, the day your mother invited us to this family party.I wish I was a witch, at least then I could justify the Halloween massacre I did with the pie.
-Mars c’mon! You did it great! Excellent! Can we go?
-Aaargh! Ok ok.Take the corpses pie; I’ll take my jacket…
I think or better to say, I thought a lot of things during last months.I thought life is always like a circle and thought this circle was my space, my habitat, my everything.But life gives and life takes and so it was.
I was living in a comfortable place called my little world.And I guess, one of my aims was writing about it, telling the whole world how the tic-tac clocks of my life in a crisscross with the others lives, were done.I believe our life is a miracle, which in an intersection with the others lives, you get an awesome thing called universe.Universe of opportunities, of chances, of happiness, of sorrow, of madness, of defeat, of revenge, of all the things that might make you feel alive and some not so lucky times, it could be putting you closer to feel somehow grey inside.I know this sounds deeply sad but I mean it in a way that, sometimes, could be that some things at first sight, especially problems, seem to be the end.Really, making a re-call to R.E.M., like the end of the world. And just in that little moment, it is.Everything is dark; it’s done my friend –game’s over-.And what about the rest?How to take the correct pieces to continue?
I had an explosion; I would like to call it the big-bang theory of the change.Perhaps there’s only one big-bang theory we know but what about if it was the product of the re-arrange of the world?In my case it was.
So there was me, fighting with all my guts. I tried to fight and go back to my very special circle and it didn’t work.Have you ever felt like sometimes even you fight so hard… some things cannot be done?Well, it was like this for me.And I’m not a psychologist… (Maybe I should) but I would say my very personal opinion the steps were one by one made like this: First, you don’t want to believe it. Then you hate it all, then you blame the world, then you poor little soul, none comprehends you and finally you set yourself (on fire) up to a very high trampoline where anyway, world was waiting for you to jump.It was just that it took you soooo long to understand that that was that way to follow…So I asked myself several times if it was a good idea, sometimes on my new home-road I ask myself if it was the best choice. But there’s something in front of me I can see.It’s not so clear for me now, but I can see the road has a very little flag where an important sentence I feel in my heart is written: new chances might be brighter.And I thought ok this is a reflection of a cruel oasis but it wasn’t.I think I cleared my eyes several times before that view and it was still there.Everyday I get closer it’s clearer to me.
In a little review, sometimes probably it’s not so healthy to swim against flow. Sometimes if you are too tired, could be that time it is not that you didn’t fight, it is that you have to face a new fight.The moment is not that clear I know, but sticking to my heart I know.If Sting told “Let your soul be your pilot” sometimes could be the only eyes you have to take a decision.Sometimes people can tell you thousand theories about what you should really do and it is ironic, but then you saturate your perception, suddenly all roads go to heaven and which one is the best?Then, the answer is just up to your heart and soul.Whatever they tell or whatever they make you feel comfortable, that’s the right direction to follow.
My adventure was not over (thank You God).Life in Barcelona was changed for a new survival challenge at the asphalt jungle… well, let’s say another asphalt jungle; my hometown; Mexico.And you know what?I used to love traveling and I certainly do. But what I found is… how to conquer other lands when you haven’t conquered yours?I guess that was the main calling and I accepted the challenge.
So here we are now, with a lot to write, with honesty changing my inks.With some old good friends, with some lost battles and with some dirt on face.Here we are with an unforgettable love for music, for colors, for books, for more traveling but for the best part; the unforgettable love for life.
Pensacola Dreams, 1972.
So it was you and I always thought it was Love behind that fog.When are all your shadows going to disappear? I thought you loved Shawn.Then you tell me you want to drive to Alaska?What about the book I gave you?Did you tell your friend about it?Don’t hide again that music.It reminds me of Mary Anthony and the wood box.Have you seen her scarf in Vienna?She was just great.Porcelain skin… just like yours.
Oh Darling when is this going to…
-Mars?!
-Hmmmhh?
-Maaars?!
-Hmmm yeeees Mooom?!
-Aren’t you going to the lab?!
-What?! Ohh no… what…
-It’s niiiine!!!
-Jesus! No please not again…
From our dear friends from the Fenix Records, here we go:
I would love to re-put myself on a
long trip, like those I used to do within the years. Thanks to that, I’ve been
so fortunate in collecting the best of friendships and love.
